10. You’ve tried the rest, now try The Beast!
Aleister Crowley is TO MEGA THERION 666, The Great Beast prophesied in the New Testament. He brought about the New Aeon, whereupon the world was baptized in fire through two great wars and many lesser wars that continue to this day. The world isn’t ending in 2012, it already did in 1904.
9. Dead men tell no lies.
This puts Aleister Crowley far ahead of all the other candidates who lie pretty much constantly. The only false promise that Aleister Crowley will make is this: if he wins the election, he will reanimate to serve as the first zombie president. But he won’t win, so it doesn’t matter.
Aleister Crowley’s philosophy upholds the liberty of the individual.
7. Horus bling.
Thanks to campaign supporter Kanye West, now you can get some bling which celebrates the dawning of the Aeon of Horus.
6. AC2012 is “post-ironic.”
So sayeth the hipster élite. We don’t understand what it means but ok, whatever, if that’s what it takes for you to make or buy a shirt.
5. If you’re going to waste your vote, don’t waste it on any other candidate; waste it on Aleister Crowley.
If you’re going to vote for a sure loser, why bother unless it makes a real statement that confuses and horrifies people?
4. Aleister Crowley represents the maximum metal possible in one candidate.
We’re not going to try to list all the bands that have been strongly influenced by Aleister Crowley. Pretty much every heavy metal band ever, ok? Here’s a few, as well as some that are not heavy metal: Ozzy Osbourne. Ministry. Iron Maiden. Celtic Frost. Dimmu Borgir. Marilyn Manson. TOOL. Coil. Current 93. Throbbing Gristle. Behemoth. Fields of the Nephilim. Mudvayne. Killing Joke. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Led Zeppelin. Mick Jagger. Aerosmith. Raul Seixas. The Beatles. Jay-Z. David Bowie. Frank Zappa. Need we go on?
3. Aleister Crowley does not support the 99% or the 1%. He upholds the liberty of the individual.
Aleister Crowley would not bail out the banks and he would also be against the politics of class warfare. Learn more about Aleister Crowley’s views as they relate to Occupy, the 99%, and the financial crisis.
2. Oppose the tyranny of compulsory tooth-brushing!
In a recent debate, perennial write-in candidate Vermin Supreme had a heated exchange with a representative of the Aleister Crowley 2012 campaign about his oppressive tooth-brushing initiative.
1. Change we can remain skeptical about!
In a poem published in The Book of Lies, Aleister Crowley wrote, “I slept with Faith, and found a corpse in my arms on awaking; I drank and danced all night with Doubt, and found her a virgin in the morning.” Stay tuned for a post on this blog where we will explore Aleister Crowley’s ideas about science and religion!